Stay Off the Rooftop

Today is a bittersweet day. My six foot two baby is about to graduate from middle school. Today he embarks on a new chapter in his life – one where I need to take a “small” step back and let him develop into the man that God is calling him to be. High school is a different world, full of different challenges and different temptations. As a mother, I need to trust that the years of prayer and instruction have prepared him for this next phase of his life. I would be foolish and naïve to think that taking a stand for Christ during high school is easy. To the contrary, it will be filled with daily decisions where he will need to make a choice whether to stand firm in his beliefs or compromise. So, real life begins.

The best advice I can give to him as a mother is to position himself well. What I mean is that he needs to know his purpose and make sure that he doesn’t abandon it. You see, people often fall into a pattern of sin because they find themselves in a situation that they shouldn’t be in the first place. Let’s take a look at the life of David. David was a strong leader, full of faith, and devoted fully to his heavenly father. But David fell into temptation and a series of sinful behavior because he abandoned his purpose and was not where he should have been.

It was spring, and all the kings were off at war. David should have been with those other kings. But, instead, he chose to send Joab in his place. While staying behind, he got restless and bored, and he found himself on the rooftop of the palace. From there, he saw Bathsheba bathing, in all her beauty, and he sent for her, slept with her, got her pregnant, and then killed her husband. David abandoned the purpose that God charged him with, and he ended up falling into sin with some serious consequences.

Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil. – Proverbs 4:26-27

All too often, we find ourselves in the midst of sin and scratch our heads wondering just how we got there. It doesn’t happen by accident. It involves a series of decisions that position us for failure, rather than success, often stemming from boredom. Like David, one poor choice leads to another and to another and to another. That is why it is crucial to position yourself well from the beginning to avoid these temptations.

With that said, we need to surround ourselves with people who share the same ideas. I guarantee that you will eventually fail at pursuing righteousness if you surround yourself with people who aren’t likeminded in purpose.

Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. – Matthew 26:41

Our prayer should be one that asks God to help us stay away from people, places, and situations that will tempt us. We should be committed to His purpose for our lives. If you find yourself in a rooftop situation, get off of there as quickly as possible and return to doing the things that God has called you to do.

Supermom Syndrome

Although I was a little too young to watch this show in its first airing, I loved watching Wonder Woman in reruns. Diana Prince appeared to be just a normal woman, that is, until a situation that required her super powers arose. Then, with a delicate spin of her body and flip of her hair, she was instantly transformed into a full-fledged super hero. I loved pretending to be her when I was younger. What girl didn’t? Not only did she have special powers, but she also wore a tiara (that doubled as a boomerang). Need I say more?

I would spin aimlessly around in the yard switching back and forth from normal girl into Wonder Woman, taking trips on my invisible plane, and lassoing all the imaginary bad guys. I even confess that I had the Wonder Woman “Underoos.” I was a fan.

Well, I am all grown up, married, and have two children, so I don’t pretend that I am a Wonder Woman any longer. That would be ridiculous! But sometimes, I do think that I need to be Supermom.

The pressure we women put on ourselves is incredible and unnecessary. We sometimes feel that we need to be perfect. We feel the outcome of our children is entirely based on our efforts. If we fail at even the slightest thing, we think that our children will be impacted negatively. We need to remember, there is no such thing as a perfect mother, but there is a perfect God.

Now don’t misunderstand, God has called us to be great parents. We are to instruct our children in the ways of the Lord. We are to love them, nurture them, and train them up in the things of God. But, we are human, and we will make mistakes. In fact, if you are not a perfect mom, you are in good company. In Luke 2:41-46, we see an account of a not-so-perfect mother moment.

Every year Jesus’ parents went to Jerusalem for the Festival of the Passover. When he was twelve years old, they went up to the festival, according to the custom. After the festival was over, while his parents were returning home, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but they were unaware of it. Thinking he was in their company, they traveled on for a day. Then they began looking for him among their relatives and friends. When they did not find him, they went back to Jerusalem to look for him. After three days, they found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions.

Many of you have read this scripture before, but did you realize that Jesus was missing for four days (one of which his mother didn’t even know he was gone). Mary, the example for all mothers, lost, or shall I say misplaced, her son, Jesus, for days. And despite the not-so-perfect mother moment, I think we can all agree that He turned out ok.

Ladies, we need to spend less time trying to get the “Parent of the Year” award and more time praying and trusting God for our children’s future. We need to lay aside our efforts to be Supermom, and focus on pointing our kids toward God, the only real super hero.

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.    Proverbs 22:6

Eyes On You

Not that long ago, I had a lighthearted conversation with a friend of mine. We were both joking about our daughters and their “overachiever” attitude toward school. I quickly passed this perfectionist behavior on to my husband, clarifying that even though I was a good student, I never was that intense when I was her age. My daughter clearly must take after my husband. So I thought. Well, it was what came out of my friend’s mouth next that inspired today’s blog. She said without hesitation, “You might not have been like that when you were in sixth grade, but you are certainly like that now.”

Wait . . . what?

This got me thinking. Kids see and copy the behavior their parents demonstrate now, not when they were younger. Although we are telling our children one thing, what are we actually showing them?

I am constantly telling my daughter that there is no such thing as perfect, that an A minus is an acceptable grade, and that she need not take things so seriously. And yet, my actions are telling her something completely different. In fact, after some reflection, I do suppose my six-page Christmas Excel spreadsheet and my vacation fungenda spreadsheet are a bit intense.

We often hear the phrase “children learn what they live.” I think most parents understand that their children are watching them. Christian parents are careful to live a life of high moral character. So we don’t cheat, lie, or curse. But, it’s the little things that also shape our children’s character.

Ladies, how do you react when you are frustrated? Do you head to your knees in prayer, or do you complain and carry on. How do you respond to failure? Do you blame it on everyone else or do you accept responsibility, learn from it, and try again?

What happens when someone criticizes you or offends you? When you mess up, do you apologize? Do you respect your husband? Or do you make jokes at his expense?

That conversation with my friend has truly opened my eyes to be more aware that my kids are watching me all the time. So, what do I want them to see?

I want them to see a woman who is deeply in love with Jesus. I want them to see a woman who makes mistakes and knows how to admit she is wrong. I want them to see me get frustrated and offended and still do the right thing. I want them to see a woman who clearly doesn’t have it all together, but relies entirely on her Savior. Because with Him, she can do anything!

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”  Proverbs 22:6